Travelogue Six: Got Malaysia?
June 26th, 2003
Selamat malam! (Good evening)
Well, as usual when traveling, plans change... ceaselessly. It's fantastic that Andrew and I have the luxury of being able to fall in love with a country and just stick with it, we've got lots of Malaysia and just keep loving it. So for now, we're skipping Sumatra and sticking with Malaysia. In a couple of days we fly over the South China Sea to Kuching, a Western town in Sarawak, Malaysian Borneo!
It all started with crossing the border from Thailand after a few days in Had Yai the 'shopping capital of the South'- that is if you're a half blind Asian grandma who wants to spend too much. Anyways, crossing the border we were delighted to be presented with a free 3 month visa. For the same visa in Thailand we had to spend $20 before we left in Canada for the first 2 months, then another $17 and a trip to Koh Samui (add another $10) for the same thing. When we enquired about this our wonderful customs man simply said, "Come to Malaysia, spend you're money! We like this philosophy. It's much easier to deal with then the visa runaround!
Our first stop was the island of Penang. Just in case they were kidding about the free visas or actually meant for us to spend money, Andrew and I hid ourselves in a clean version of a Turkish prison fully equipped with the mandatory helicopter size wobbling ceiling fan at the affable Blue Diamond. We cruised Georgetown relentlessly seeking the cheapest thali style Indian meals we could. For those of you not in on the thali scoop, here's the deal... generally you sit at a fold out table with other people that you don't know, next comes a random Indian cafe worker who sort of understands you. This of course results in the manager coming to meet you and telling you which dishes you want in spite of you knowing what you want (this of course usually ends up being better of course!). Third, add a second Indian server who places a section of fresh banana (pisang) leaf in front of you. Next, add a couple more Indians who all ceremoniously add random and smelly items to the huge pile of rice on the leaf. For me the next part is the best, though Andrew isn't as fond- start mixing your rice with the various sauces, chutneys, dahl, and manager mystery dish with your right hand fingers--- important! don't use your left hand- it's for bum wiping here as they use that along with lots of water (me I lug around small kleenex packs I got for free from advertisers on the Japanese subway)--- repeat until totally bloated and possibly farting from all the lentils.
At any rate, we did do more then eat in Penang. We got chased by fang baring, long-tailed macaques in the botanical park, blessed with rose water and our third eyes smudged with ash and sandalwood paste at a Ganesh temple, swilled beers with Icelandic freight pilots, hauled ass up thousands of steps at the Kek Si Lok Buddhist Temple casually disguised as an amusement park with trolley rides and pay per view pagodas, not to mention all manner of kitsch for sale at the gift shop including Marlboro man cowboy hats and Powder Puff Girls slippers, of course you could just buy the billy club size incense sticks and pray to the 45 foot Kuan Yin statue (molded by the Chinese Aerospace) .
Next was the Cameron Highlands (yet another place like Penang that we've never heard of). Simply wonderful as long as you can forget the bus ride there and back! The last leg of the journey involves climbing from almost sea level to approximately 1700m in just 60km. Now if this wasn't done on the crustiest bus alive and didn't require negotiating 653 bends during which at least 50% of the time a car will pass causing the bus driver to a) brake b) swerve or c) both. But I can't say we weren't warned the Backpacker Bible (aka Lonely Planet) did say, "the Highlands is where old Malaysian buses come to die". Back in Penang we thought we'd avoided this- waiting at the bus stop there were two new buses! joy! bliss! then a, "All passengers to Cameron Highlands please cross the street to your bus".... and of course there sat our old lump.
But we did make it, and I didn't barf. I was narcoleptic from the anti-motion sick pills, but Andrew likes me that way, apparently it pays for the bus ride as he can show off my breasts (kidding :)We spent many days hiking the beautiful valleys and hills and investigating the local tea plantations. It was quite a shock to the system though since the daily highs are around 21C and lows at night to 10C. But I finally felt vindicated for lugging around our sweaters, jackets, pants and socks for the last 3 months in the baking tropics! Now we're in Kuala Lumpur. We must admit that despite being in Malaysia for over a week now there are still things we cannot figure out...even after our bus ride here, Why are the oldest buses sent to die on the most insane hills? but even more puzzling are Malaysian economics. Below you will find a chart of some average expenses we've incurred in local Ringit (RM) which is approximately 1Cdn to 2.8RM, so 14RM=$5 28RM=$10, 56RM=$20. We are in need of an accountant to do a Cost Point Index...
Ride on Light Rail Skytrain (local) 1.60RM
Popcorn & Pop at the movies 4.60RM
Coffee (what they call Large) 8.50RM
Ticket to see Charlie's Angels 2 (premier) 10RM
New pants/zip off shorts 12.50RM
4.5 Hour bus ride 13RM
1 Hour taxi in the highlands 18RM
Indian thali meal for 2 (incl 2 tea & dessert) 21RM
Night in a hole in the wall shared bath 30RM
Night in a decent 'hotel' with hot shower 40RM
Dinner for 2 at Chili's(U.S. chain) incl 2 beer 78RM
1 1/2 hour flight to Borneo for 2 (incl tx) 211RM
I also can't figure out how not to be insulted when I am normally a Medium back home and now require XXXL!!!! nor can we figure out why under Malaysian law you have to go to a pharmacist to get Ibuprofen (Advil), especially when in Thailand it's pretty much help yourself chemists- supplying everything from Valium, to Xanex, to Viagara on demand and really cheap. I know you can get a caning here for drug possession, but as far as I know, Advils have no psychotropic effects.
But despite these confusions we are really enjoying Malaysia. It's an incredible blend of Malay Muslims, Chinese Buddhists, Indian Hindus and your random Christian converts. Temples and mosques appear on major city blocks, having been built a century or more ago. Here they just build around and over and the temples add neon and lights to their signs. Everyone speaks amazingly great English and many wonderful activities are free- like heading up to the bridge that spans the Petronas towers on the 41st floor 170m above the city.
We will be heading off to Borneo. There is promise of orangutans, and the Rafflesia a 1m wide flower. Apparently the headhunters and pirates are basically vanquished, but the pickpockets rampant. We'll keep in touch!
Much love to all of you. Thanks for the sweet words and funny hellos. Keep the love coming. Big kisses! (but not in public- it's taboo here!)
*steph* and *andrew*
p.s. since we're a day ahead we already got to see Charlie's Angels 2- it was full of super campy fun, but we know they cut some of the good bits the censors here apparently don't like impalement, but thigh and buns are okay!
